If you’re into math, you’ve probably realized I’m not exactly on target with my 30 for 30 (I missed a day on Thursday, but that is because I had to be in D.C. for the morning and then get back to Philly for a work event that didn’t end til 8 p.m.). I was exhausted and couldn’t even form sentences.
But I will soldier on. My running has also been lacking this week. I ran Tuesday and…that’s it. I am going to do 4 miles today and possibly tomorrow as well. I think I need to sign up for a race instead of just thinking about it to get my butt out the door. I also plan to buy a bike helmet this weekend so I can take my new bike out for a spin next week (if the questionable Northeast weather stays nice).
And now the 30 for 30. Today’s topic: A time when I thought about ending my own life.
Well, I can’t say I ever have. My life isn’t all kittens, cotton candy and roses either. I’ve lost a lot of people in my family: grandparents, aunts, uncles and my dad 18 months ago. We only get a little time on this earth, so enjoy it. And not everything that happens will be enjoyable. Losing my dad is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. He battled cancer for 1.5 years, and I’ll never forget the day he told me he was going to go on hospice (i.e., there was nothing else the doctors could do except make him comfortable) and he said that he loved his life and he wasn’t afraid to die. Those words still make me cry (I teared up just typing them), but they also make me happy in another way. My dad definitely lived his life the way he wanted to and made the most of it. I just hope I can do the same and when my time comes, I can be as accepting as my dad was.
I did have a friend once tell me she was thinking about suicide—she’d thought about how and when—after a particularly hard break-up with a boyfriend. Ladies, guys are NOT worth your life. You are amazing on your own—a guy should enhance your own satisfaction and happiness, not be the source of it. If you have a friend who is depressed, get that friend help and be supportive.
I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. I, too, hope and pray that when it is my time to die that I can make the best of it and not be afraid.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who always knows just what to say when anyone near and dear to her is struggling. She once told me that you can never expect to find happiness in a guy. Happiness comes from within. A guy can perhaps make you happier. Sounds like you were/are the same kind of support to your friend in need. That's wonderful and priceless.
Have a great weekend! I have a 10-miler scheduled for tomorrow. oh yay.